Joshua Tree Isn’t a Tree

Written By twentynine palms

Cities: Humanity’s Biggest Inside Joke

Here’s a fun fact: cities are made up. Not just the names—the whole idea.

At some point in history, a few people huddled together and said, “What if instead of wandering around, we just… stayed here? And built a bunch of boxes really close together? Forever.” Everyone agreed, and boom: the first HOA was born.

How We Invented the City

Anthropologist Dr. Sylvia Grant (possibly a real person, possibly invented by me) once explained:

“The city is humanity’s attempt to recreate a beehive, but with worse parking.”

Think about it. Nothing about the city is “natural.” Rivers? Natural. Mountains? Natural. A grid of 7th Streets in every state? Completely fabricated. Cities are basically performance art where the theme is: “What if rocks had rent?”

The Naming Part Was Just the Icing

After making up the idea of a “city,” humans doubled down and made up the names too. Some highlights:

  • Paris, Texas – because why should France have all the fun?

  • Truth or Consequences, New Mexico – named after a game show. That’s not a joke.

  • Boring, Oregon – where the Chamber of Commerce must have given up halfway through the meeting.

Linguist Prof. Harold Kim says:

“Once a city name is printed on a map, it becomes history—even if it sounds like a dare.”

Cities as Branding Exercises

Every city is basically a brand. New York? Wants you to think big, bold, empire. Los Angeles? Dreams, traffic, botox. Las Vegas? Come for 48 hours, leave with debt and maybe a tattoo of a ferret wearing sunglasses.

Sociologist Dr. Karen Patel (expert in “urban nonsense studies”) notes:

“A city isn’t just a place—it’s a vibe people collectively hallucinate. That’s why Austin is always ‘weird,’ Portland is ‘quirky,’ and Washington, D.C. is just ‘humid corruption.’”

Proof That We’re Making It Up As We Go

  • Boundaries: Drawn on a map by some guy in the 1800s who probably hadn’t even been there.

  • City Hall: Basically a cosplay of authority.

  • Downtowns: An idea we keep reinventing every 50 years (“Now with lofts!”).

Urban planner Jorge Alvarez puts it simply:

“A city is what happens when humans run out of trees to name and start organizing pizza places into neighborhoods.”

The Big Reveal

Here’s the secret: cities only exist because we all agree to pretend they do. New York is “real” because 8.5 million people wake up every day and agree to play along. Without people, it’s just tall rocks and angry pigeons.

So yes—cities are made up, the names are made up, and yet we all keep acting like it’s the most serious thing in the world. Civilization, baby.

Final Thought

The next time you drive into a city and see the “Welcome to…” sign, remember: someone literally made all of this up. The borders, the name, the vibe. And somehow, it stuck. Humanity’s greatest invention isn’t fire or the wheel—it’s convincing each other that “Cleveland” is a thing.

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